Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Secret Life of a Preacher's Wife- The Test

My name is Glenda.
I am a preacher's wife.
And I have a secret.
As a matter of fact, I have a secret life, that only God and other preacher's wives see.

And I am going to give you a peak inside.
Everything I am about to say, is the truth. (Though my friend, and fellow preacher's wife Mandy Richmond says you won't believe it!)
I hope if you are reading this and you are married to the man in the pulpit, you will get a chuckle and know you are not alone.
If you are not married to the man in the pulpit, (please don't desire to be, but that's another blog post) I hope you get a glimpse of the life of the woman that is probably sitting alone on the second pew.

So here we go.

My husband preaches that we are not to just read and know scripture, but to live it out. This is about the day Romans 7:15 became my nemesis.

My husband was preaching is a small southern town. I mean population of 2000 and that includes counting the college students that they lump together with this towns population. And the college has 1000 students. So that leaves about 1000, (and I think they are counting flies) to establish small.
I loved that congregation. Lovely people. We knew everybody in town. And everybody in the Church.

So the stage is set. For my colonoscopy.

Now most you, if you have to have this test done, you make an appointment, show up, get some feel good medicine so you don't remember, wake up, talk to your doctor and go home.

For me it goes like this; I make my appointment. The head nurse of that unit tells me on Sunday, "Oh I see you are coming to see me next week!".
Ugh. Remember, this is a colonoscopy.
The day arrives, I go back and  am introduced as the preacher's wife. Patient hat comes off, Preacher's wife hat comes on. I greet and chat with everyone in the room as I am prepped. Don't know why I changed hats, no one was looking at my head! Ugh.
The nurse member of our congregation gives me something to make me forget what is going on. As I am getting this medicine I am told I will be awake, I just won't remember anything.

This is where you and I might differ some. I begin praying fervently, "Lord, please let me be nice. Please don't let me say anything that might not be appropriate. Please let these women see Jesus (although I was sure they WERE NOT going to find Jesus where they were looking at that moment)!

Sometime during my procedure, the meds starting wearing off, and I began a conversation in my head with myself that went something like this:
"Oh that hurts"
"This really needs to stop NOW"
"Ok, be nice Glenda. be careful, don't say anything you shouldn't"
"Ok ladies this needs to stop"

I then said quietly to the nurses, "Umm, ladies, excuse me but that hurts." They looked at me , rolled me over to my other side and started pushing on my tummy. Not the response I was looking for.

Then Romans 7:15 comes into play.
 "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate."
In my head again, " This has to stop now or I'm going to take someone out!!"
"Jesus, God, Church, Husband is the preacher."
"Ok say it louder, but nicely!"

I spoke aloud again. Quite loudly to make sure they heard me this time.

"LADIES! This really MUST stop now. I have had quite enough!"

My nurse who goes to our church, must have heard me then because she came up to where my head was, and gave me some more meds because the next thing I remember is waking up with my husband and the doctor.
I started to get panicky because I wondered if I was rude, or mean to the nurses. After all, a preacher's wife cannot do that!

I saw my nurse at church the following Sunday, and I asked her, " Was I rude or mean to you or your staff when I had the test done?" She was confused at the question but said no. I then recounted my conversation with her and she looked horrified.
"You aren't supposed to remember that!"
I smiled at her,winking and said, "That's ok, there are a few things from that day I hope YOU don't remember!"

Such is the "Secret Life of a Preacher's Wife".

Chasing After Their Hearts,
Glenda Johnson

No comments:

Post a Comment