Thursday, March 22, 2012

Desiring Weakness? Never!!!

“ I am 100% sure that you have suffered a stroke in the cerebellum of your brain. It explains why you have such a severe headache, numbness on the left side of your body, and are having trouble speaking. We are going to admit you to the hospital and do some tests to see what caused the stroke and how extensive the damage is.”

The woman stared at the doctor in unbelief. She never expected that this would be where she was at this point in her life.

Everything about her future was uncertain. And she was frightened.

The next morning as she lay awake, preparing to go for the MRI, she was screaming in her mind, “ I am only 48 years old! I should not be lying here, having had a stroke.” The nursing tech came in and began to bathe the woman. Her anger turned to humiliation as she wondered if others would be bathing her from now on. The humiliation and anger returned as she was tethered to a tech just to walk. “Has my life become nothing more than that of a dog? To be walked on a leash and lead everywhere?”
Then the real questions started pouring out of her pounding head:
“ Will I ever be able to speak again? Will I be able to care for my family? Will I ever write again?”

A once confident, people loving person, was shying away from all people because she was embarrassed of her weakness. She did not desire to have her husband watch her. She did not take calls from her closest friend; she avoided all contact with others.

I can relate to the woman whose story I have been sharing. Actually, it is my story; my walk of uncertainty, and God used it to teach me a very important lesson.

As God used no less than 500 prayer warriors from across the United States and in several foreign countries to petition for my healing, God spoke to me, through my anger with this:

2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why for Christ’s' sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My strength came when I released my uncertain future and laid it at God's throne. I rested in His strength, and stopped trying to be strong on my own.

The diagnosis was not a stroke. The symptoms resolved after several days. I either had a migraine with neurological manifestations or a TIA. I am, by the grace of God, in His strength, healing and finding life just a little more certain these days.

What is uncertain? Everything about life is uncertain. 
What IS certain, is the ONE in whom I TRUST, and HIS strength that gets me through each moment.

Where will you choose to lay your uncertain journey today?
The heart of God waits to use your weakness as a powerful tool to show His strength!
Chase After His Heart today!!!

Chasing Their Hearts,
Glenda Johnson

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