Saturday, January 16, 2010

TheHardest Day Of My Life

I would like to share an article that I wrote almost 6 years ago that was published in a local newspaper. I was living in Richland, MO, and this article was written as I processed my feelings on what I could only describe as

"The Hardest Day Of My Life"

The door opened, a very charming gentleman was on my arm, (he was half my age to boot,) and the music playing led my eyes to the front of the flower filled room. I was about to do the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my 40 years of life. As I was guided down the isle, I was confident on the outside in a gorgeous sage gown and wonderful hair updo that I wore, but still… would I make it through this day without losing it on the outside like I was losing it on the inside? Our eyes met, and the tears began to flow, but I smiled and he smiled too, through tear filled eyes and we both knew things were about to change forever. I looked for my solid rock, my husband who was always there to make everything ok for me, to work through the hard situations, and where was he? Could he stop this before I lost what I felt I couldn’t possibly give up? Oh there he was, I found him, he was also in the front of the room and was getting closer with each step, but my heart and my mind knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop what was about to happen, because he was actually in charge and his signature in a few minutes would make it all official. As I reached my spot, smiling faces looking at me with knowing smiles, my eyes left my husband, the preacher, and met once again the tear filled eyes of my son, who assured me he loved me with his words and expression and I knew my destiny was sealed. In a moment I would officially be a Mother-in-law.

All the emotions that surrounded my son’s wedding actually started the day my son was born. The little red premature rat stole my heart. This was a little being that only a mother could love. Until now. As the little rat stood there all grown up, not in a hospital blanket but in a tuxedo, I realized that all these years as I loved him, and helped to teach him how to love, I was preparing him for this day. No longer was my little boy standing there, but a grown man, who has dedicated his life to preaching the gospel of Christ, and now will be a husband. I had felt I was losing my son to another woman. It was painful and scary. Until now. You see, as the music changed and the wedding march began, I know a beautiful woman came in the back door and started down the isle. I’ll have to wait to see that on the video however, because I didn’t see that part. I was intently watching this boy, become man, as he watched his bride coming toward him, and in that moment, in that glance, I knew he had found someone to care for, to love and to cherish. That glimpse into my son’s heart was so powerful, I knew in a drop of a tear, all was ok. I also realized that I had been wrong. I was not going to be a mother- in –law, but a Mother-in love.
(Glenda Johnson is a preacher’s wife, mother of 7, and now a mother-in-love who writes from her heart on issues that reach out to other women’s hearts. She resides with MOST of her family in Richland, MO)

I have always told everyonethat the day my son Billy got married was the hardest day of my life. And it was.

Until 1/12/2010 and an earthquake trapped this same son in Haiti.
Now each day that he cannot get home, is the hardest day of my life.
Now each day I watch his wife cry, is the hardest day of my life.
Now I just wait . Still look to my husband the rock, for support. Only this time, his eyes are not assuring me it is ok.

But my God assures me I am not alone.
Hebrews 13:5-6 Be happy with what you have because God has said, "I will never abandon you or leave you."
So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What can mortals do to me?"
Just like the day my son got married, I cannot stop the situation around me. But I can know that as I go through the "Hardest Day Of My Life" today, I am truly not alone.

Chasing Their Hearts,
Glenda Johnson

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